Thursday

Had crock-pot chicken for breakfast and again for lunch. Had an outing right after work, so I brought an apple with me. I dunked it in some of that FGPB (fresh-ground peanut butter). When I got home, it smelled like pizza AGAIN! Seriously, Chris has been incredibly helpful with everything, but I wish wish wish he'd stop making fresh pizzas! This is the 4th one in under 3 weeks. Gotta depizzafy that guy. I had about a half of a piece of pizza and a nectarine.

Later had one of those Active Lifestyle smoothies for dessert/snack. I must say, these smoothies are terrific! They've got 42% less sugar than other brands and two of the flavors are fabulous! (The third is some combination of peach and cranberry and it just doesn't sound good to me. Haven't tried it.)

So I'm in new territory right now and I'm freaking out a little bit. I'm tasting weight loss success. I like it. I enjoy the compliments and the kudos. I really do. I'm working out and doing what I'm supposed to do. Even taking multivitamins and calcium. Even seeing the doctor.

But it's been 2 months and I'M NOT THIN YET! I realize it took me years to get here. I know there were hundreds of ounces of sugary sodas every single day for 20+ years. Cases of Cheetos and potato chips. Carloads of fast food. Pizza. Candy. Ice cream. Even when a food was 'healthy', I was still eating too much of it.

I'm purging all the garbage in my head. The doubts & fears. The reasons not to work out. The commercials for the Brownie Batter Blizzard.

It's time to relax and keep doing what I'm doing. Forging ahead -- momentum is on my side and I don't want to lose it.

One thing I'm always needing to remind myself in life is that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Growing up, I was all or nothing about most things -- and I often expected this of others, too. But this lifestyle change isn't just black and white. It's not like I can just stop eating food altogether. I need to nourish myself with a pleasing and healthy variety of foods in reasonable portions. I need to exert effort in fun and interesting ways to burn more calories than I take in. Period.